Chapter 1: Running in Circles

We’re constantly told to be the best at everything—an exceptional parent, a productive worker, an ambitious dreamer, and a perfectly balanced human being. Society urges us to stay motivated, create endlessly, earn more, live slowly, dream big, heal our past, and yet somehow remain present. But when does it stop? When are we finally enough?

When I was about 20, I fell deep into the world of self-help. It was thrilling. I spent hours consuming books, videos, and blogs, convinced I had found the key to solving all my problems. Years later, during the pandemic, I discovered content about video creation. I watched countless tutorials, absorbed endless inspiration—but I created nothing. Have you been there?

Self-improvement culture, whether intentional or not, traps us in a loop of consuming advice and daydreaming about potential, all while leaving us stuck in place. And the more time that passes, the more anxious we become about actually starting.

Let’s be clear: self-growth is important. Learning and evolving are essential to a fulfilling life. But we have to be mindful of how we engage with it. The endless cycle of consuming and waiting tricks us into inactive perfectionism. We convince ourselves we need to be more confident, knowledgeable, or stable before taking action. And I’m not talking about a few weeks of reasonable preparation—I’m talking about years of waiting.

We can’t become great at something by just reading about it. Self-improvement can be addictive, especially when we’re feeling lost or sad. Watching a motivational video gives us a temporary dopamine boost, making us feel like we’ve already made progress. Buying a new planner or crafting the perfect morning routine gives us a false sense of achievement. But in the end, we’re just junkies running in circles.

Chapter 2: The Illusion of the Perfect Self

Social media constantly bombards us with the idea that we need to improve ourselves—physically, mentally, financially, and emotionally. In a world obsessed with achievement, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling behind. The self-improvement industry sells us the illusion that if we just fix our flaws, heal our traumas, and follow the right routines, we’ll reach a state of perfection.

After years of struggling with depression, I felt guilty about the time I had “wasted.” I became obsessed with optimizing my life. I tried therapy, yoga, meditation, cold showers, learning new languages, and scheduling every minute of my day. I found things that worked for me, but my life started to feel like a checklist. I wasn’t proud—I was exhausted.

The more I improved, the more flaws I found. I realized that my motivation for self-improvement wasn’t rooted in self-love but in insecurity. Many of us start this journey because we feel unworthy, believing that if we fix ourselves enough, the pain will disappear. But chasing perfection only leads to burnout. Instead of healing, we end up feeling like we’ve sold our soul for an unattainable goal.

Chapter 3: The Guilt of Not Keeping Up

If we don’t recognize the dangers of self-improvement culture, it can lead us straight into burnout and depression. We push ourselves to exhaustion, believing that if we just work a little harder, we’ll finally feel whole. But what happens when life gets in the way? When we can’t keep up with our self-imposed checklists?

Usually, we’re left with guilt and disappointment. We blame ourselves for not progressing fast enough, which leads to even lower self-worth. And before we know it, we’re convinced that our fears were right all along—that we are flawed, that we are failures, and that we need even more fixing.

But what if we just stopped for a moment? What if, instead of another self-improvement challenge, we took a warm shower, went for a walk, or even napped in the middle of the day? Burnout is a sign of self-abuse, and recovering from it takes time. If we don’t slow down, we’ll keep running ourselves into the ground.

Chapter 4: Embracing the Seasons of Life

One of the best decisions I made was stepping away from the self-improvement noise. I deleted social media apps from my phone and started limiting my exposure. I still watch YouTube now and then, but I’m much more mindful of what I consume. Instead of rigidly following someone else’s routine, I focus on my own rhythm.

I also stopped waiting for the “right time” to start creating. About a year ago, after years of postponing, I promised myself that I would make a video every three weeks—no matter what. I didn’t have time to dwell on whether I was ready, skilled enough, or needed more preparation. I just started.

Life moves in seasons. Sometimes, we’re in full bloom, growing rapidly. Other times, we’re maturing, slowing down, or even feeling stuck. And that’s okay. Any change we make should come from a place of self-love, not self-hatred. There will be times when we need to push ourselves and learn intensely, but that doesn’t mean we should do it all the time.

We need to let go of the fear of missing out. Growth is a natural part of life, and humans have been improving themselves for centuries—long before self-help books and motivational videos existed. The best thing we can do is learn from each other while staying true to ourselves.

Because in the end, self-improvement isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about becoming whole.

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